Sunday March 28,2010
So your probably wondering why my life is such a mess. well before I tell you my story I have to tell you what leads up to it ,and I need to start with the person I used to be, the person I was proud to be, I want, need to be again, the one with the "Good Karma" I am a firm believer in reincarnation I know, I feel I have walked this earth many times over, I think we keep coming back after we die to correct past mistakes, I think that is why for some reason we have a really strong connection to some people and why we may truly dislike someone for know apparent reason. I think that is why I am so drawn to "M' the married man and why he was so attracted to me, totally past life. I think it was unfinished in our past life so it's back this lifetime. The feeling of our spiritual connection it is so powerful, it feels like half of you is missing until you feel him inside you not sexually speaking but emotionally like when he touches me, it's hot to the touch I feel like I am on fire and when he looks at me I feel I can't breath, I feel suffocated by this connection and it sickens me and scares me yet I need it, I need him. I feel dirty and guilty and yet I can't escape him. Can't have, can't let go. Love is not supposed to hurt like this, it's supposed to feel good, make you happy, giddy, not obsessive, moody, or emotional. How come I know this, preach this and not get it myself?
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